Astro Bites (Oct-Nov))

Aries March 21 – April 19

You’ve made significant shifts with your long-term goals recently, Aries.

These changes in uncertainty have made you feel as if your life has turned upside down.

Things like starting at a new establishment after years of bullshit at your previous job can make it difficult to get used to being the FNG.

However, taking these changes in stride can help you gain more wisdom about yourself, allowing you to make serious decisions about the environment you choose to engage in.

You should spend time working out your living situation during this time.

Even though you’re broke as hell after putting down a deposit, first, and last month’s rent at your new spot,

you’ll get more help moving your couch up 5 flights of stairs if you invest in liquor instead of beer for your friends.

Be willing to accept that they may not be able to help you move the little items after that 5th shot.

It presents an opportunity to befriend your new neighbors so you can get that Uhaul back in time.

Acceptance and compromise are the main themes in your life this month.

Your generosity will be returned in the future.

Taurus April 20 – May 2024

You’ll feel the pressure from massive changes in your workplace during this time, Taurus.

This could be related to losing some of your most reliable barback, or the massive roach problem your manager has been trying to hide from DHEC.

You won’t have to continue secretly stomping on bugs for too long (especially since DHEC is now federally regulated).

Trust that the universe will soon bring in fresh faces that will make your team even stronger and make the tip pool worth it.

Take advantage of your days off to spend time with family and friends to ease your mind of these stressors.

Do not fall into the trap of getting shit-housed with your coworkers on your days off and suck up all your energy during your downtime.

It’s a good month for “you time” and having the shakes makes it difficult to invest in yourself.

Get drunk during the workweek if need be.

Getting paid while throwing up in a dumpster during your smoke break will at least slightly ease your pain.

Gemini  May 21 – June 20

October will bring a light, calm energy compared to your recent struggles, Gemini.

You’ll have a renewed sense of romance if you’re willing to open your heart.

If you’re single, a divine connection is coming your way soon in an unexpected way.

Meeting up with your alcoholic ex is never the greatest idea, but it could put you in the bar seat next to your perfect match.

For those of you in a relationship, put your attention on your partner and avoid letting your career suck up your life.

If you seem too tied down with work, you may not have the energy to focus on anyone but yourself.

Financial stressors like losing your most generous regulars to a neighboring bar or your accruing parking tickets from feeding the meter can be difficult to handle.

All aspects of your life will be on an upswing over this month. Lean into the joy of a romantic entanglement.

Not every date night has to be an elaborate dinner at a 5-star steakhouse. The right person will love and cherish you no matter what.

Cancer June 22- July 22

You’ll have more energy and excitement within your home life this month, Cancer.

You may have contractors and repairmen in your home to get everything in tip-top shape for a Halloween bash at the end of the month.

Alternatively, you could need to clean up a spare bedroom to move your mother-in-law in for a short time.

Regardless of the positives and negatives of these possibilities, the result will bring you a sense of satisfaction.

Making necessary compromises to keep a peaceful home life will make the ups and downs easier to manage.

Consider switching to the lunch shift so you can spend your evenings decorating your home for the holidays with family to build a better relationship with those who matter most.

You’ll still make good money and may find out your mother-in-law can drink you and your spouse under the table.

While your connection with your friends and family will thrive, you may experience turmoil with your work colleagues.

This could be your sous chef taking credit for a new recipe you created for a seasonal menu while underselling your overall talent.

While it IS much more satisfying to find the blind spots from the cameras and knock his teeth in, let HR handle this one to avoid shooting yourself in the foot.

Be confident in yourself and trust everything will fall into place for future success.

Leo July 23 – August 22

You’ve had your nose on the grindstone this year, Leo,

and you finally deserve a break from the real world.

Plan a trip that doesn’t include a strict schedule and allows you to recharge your mind and body.

Traveling to a place you’ve already been to will aid you in this task since you’ve already taken the time to play tourist so you can just go with the flow.

This month you may also feel a spark of creative ideas related to communication, such as writing or public speaking, that inspire you to focus on more fulfilling goals.

You naturally have the gift of gab and it’s time to translate those sales tactics at work into something that feeds your soul instead of your bank account.

However, this means you need to be more strict about your finances.

Don’t let your coworkers peer pressure you into going out after a long shift because we all know it adds up quicker than expected.

Saving up your cash tips will be better used during your travels rather than paying court fees for a DUI.

Virgo August 23 – September 22

This is a great time to reframe your mindset when dealing with financial matters, Virgo.

It’ll be important to crack down on your budget and give up certain day-to-day luxuries.

Picking up extra shifts to pay for an extravagant brunch every weekend is not the same as having a strict budget.

Soon you’ll be presented with better career opportunities that lead to more financial freedom and help you gain respect from influential people in your circle.

Certain big wigs in town who come in sporadically will find value in what you say and see the potential in your hard work. Don’t be afraid to show pride in your accomplishments.

Utilize your ability to bullshit people with blind confidence.

These opportunities will allow you to spread your wealth into more valuable investments.

This could be getting a new apartment by yourself (let’s be real, none of us can afford to buy a home), or paying tuition to finish your business degree.

The world is your oyster, Virgo, so start shucking.

Libra September 23 – October 22

You’ve been making impressive strides in multiple facets of your life recently, Libra.

The main one is how successful you’ve been in your career.

You’ve reached many high points and given proper recognition for your achievements.

However, this may bring upon feeling like you’ve reached the limit on how high you can go in your current environment.

It’s easy to grow tired of kicking out the same alcoholics every other night because your manager refuses to ban them.

This is a great time to look at other opportunities to heighten your achievements.

This month will also guide you to focus on your romantic life with a new or already existing partner.

Spend more time engaging in the exciting side of your intimacy, especially with your sexual encounters.

Don’t be afraid to lean on others when you feel uncertain about these things.

Letting any doubts sit and fester will only lead to losing control of your emotions.

Throwing a plate in the back during a disagreement with a colleague will only land you with a write-up.

Scorpio October 23 – November 21

While those around you keep blowing up your Facebook feed with pictures of lavish trips and various fall activities, you have chosen to spend more alone time at home, Scorpio.

Even though you’re excited for your coworkers finally getting some time off, it does make you glad you don’t have multiple children to drag around Disney World on a server’s income.

You’ve already had your fun vacation earlier this year and are now locking into your creative endeavors.

However, this may take up a significant chunk of time causing some anxiety about how to juggle these responsibilities.

Don’t allow this to take away focus on your overall health.

Your existing stressors will only be exasperated by having to act as a cheaper alternative to therapy for guests.

Schedule any necessary check-ups with a doctor and keep your therapist on speed dial.

Creating an extensive plan for the upcoming months will allow your progress to continue smoothly.

Sagittarius  November 22 – December 21

You’ll have a lot of changes in your social circle this month, Sagittarius.

This means you and some of your current friends may be on different life paths causing you to part ways.

Use this as an opportunity to build new relationships with people who have similar aspirations. 

Listening to your chef bitch about his now third ex-wife when you asked for an opinion on your wedding venue can be a huge vibe killer.

You have a better chance of forming closer bonds within a new friend group than arguing with old friends over your differing opinions.

Having new perspectives around you may also inspire you to finalize important decisions within your romantic relationship.

This may be saving money to buy the perfect proposal ring or deciding whether or not to have children.

Take time to discuss making serious changes to your lifestyle with your partner.

The hours and labor required in hospitality may not allow for time-consuming commitments such as these.

Don’t be afraid to lean on others to help guide you through these decisions.

Capricorn  December 22 – January 19

You’re known for your ambition and dedication out of all the zodiac signs, Capricorn.

The fruits of your labor will soon come in the form of new advancements in your career.

All those hours spent slaving away at public events while trying to run a functioning kitchen will be noticed by some important figures within the industry.

You’ve finally clawed your way out of articles in the local paper to your very own episode of “Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives.”

However, be mindful of rivaling establishments trying to direct the spotlight away from you.

Trust your gut instinct and make necessary backup plans to avoid being stopped dead in your tracks.

You must also remember these opportunities may require longer hours and constant traveling.

Don’t allow yourself to neglect your home life trying to gain more recognition in your career.

It may not be a bad idea to put certain trips on hold until your roommate’s shifty friend stops crashing on your couch.

You can always reschedule a meeting, but you can’t get back an ounce of weed that “just disappeared.”

Aquarius  January 20 – February 18

Your focus is shifting more towards travel this month, Aquarius.

You have a renewed curiosity about the world and the exciting things it has to offer you.

Unfortunately, this clashes with your work schedule, and your boss will most likely decline your request off during this time.

You may want to put certain plans on hold until staffing issues are under control so you don’t feel the wrath of being scheduled for two weeks straight.

This will show your higher-ups that you have a strong work ethic and could lead to a future raise.

However, if you need to take a breather, allow time for a short weekend staycation to reinvigorate yourself.

All work and no play makes Aquarius a dull boy, which will eventually slow your motivation.

Stay optimistic and trust you will have good fortune very soon.

Pisces  February 19 – March 20

Your mind has been solely focused on money recently, Pisces,

which is very uncharacteristic of your sign.

This may be because you’re gathering funds for a new upcoming project.

You’ve grown tired of the confinements of working late nights and want to make the push to be your own boss.

Being told what to do has never been your strong suit,

and it seems your best ideas come to you during your smoke breaks instead of at home.

The short-term dopamine rush of going out constantly isn’t hitting quite like it used to.

Maybe it’s the constant drama that develops during those times (or maybe because Ferent now costs a minimum of $7).

Significant changes such as these can make you feel frozen and unsure of what path you should take.

Don’t let this stop you from working towards your long-term goals.

If you stay focused, you will eventually be able to allow yourself more time for self-serving creative aspirations.

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